A tuxedo is a pretty snazzy look! A well-tailored striking black and white number says, "I like my parties swanky, my finger sandwiches crustless and my arch-nemeses on their own private islands!" But how swank can you be if everyone you know wears the same tux all the time? You might as well be wearing a burlap sack!
The Cow is truly the cream of the barnyard crop! You don't have to skim an animal textbook to know that cows are smart, caring, and have far more stomachs than your average mammal! If I had to rank all the world's creatures and divide them into percentiles, the Cow would be in the top 1%! Or 2%! What are the odds of that? I'd say half-and-half.
Phew. Glad I got that out of my system. Anyway, the Squishable Spotted Cow is a whole lot of fabulous cowishness, perfect for cuddling on the couch when all you want to do is relactose. I mean relax!
15 squishy inches of high steaks cuddles, all-new poly fill, ages 3 and up!
Who're you calling a tough guy? Why, that's a load of bull...dog!
Bulldogs have actually been bred to be the perfect lap pooch! Despite their grumpy-looking exterior, they're really big softies who just want to snuggle on the couch, maybe with some pie? Mmm, pie. This cuddly canine just wants your love (also, pie). And that's no bull! Dog!
15 squishy inches of bull and dog! All new polyester fiber, ages 3 and up only!
Oh, Baby Fox, what a world awaits you! By the time you're old enough to have your own litter, you'll be hunting for small rodents and birds with a jetpack strapped to your back! As your pups' cute little fur-faces smile at you from the corner of your high-tech retinal display! And all of this will probably be taking place in a verdant forest… on Mars!
Wait, what? You'll be fully grown in less than a year? Well then, let's re-adjust our sights a bit! By the time you're grown up, at least a few of your favorite shows will release a new season! If you have a smartphone (which would be weird, because thumbs), there may be a few automatic software updates!
In any case, this narrow timeframe means that you need to get all that good baby stuff in while you can! Cuddle up before you're responsible for grownup stuff, like taxes! Or stalking prey! On Mars!
15 squishy inches of fleeting fox! All new polyester fiber, ages 3 and up only!