The Cow is truly the cream of the barnyard crop! You don't have to skim an animal textbook to know that cows are smart, caring, and have far more stomachs than your average mammal! If I had to rank all the world's creatures and divide them into percentiles, the Cow would be in the top 1%! Or 2%! What are the odds of that? I'd say half-and-half.
Phew. Glad I got that out of my system. Anyway, the Squishable Spotted Cow is a whole lot of fabulous cowishness, perfect for cuddling on the couch when all you want to do is relactose. I mean relax!
15 squishy inches of high steaks cuddles, all-new poly fill, ages 3 and up!
Who're you calling a tough guy? Why, that's a load of bull...dog!
Bulldogs have actually been bred to be the perfect lap pooch! Despite their grumpy-looking exterior, they're really big softies who just want to snuggle on the couch, maybe with some pie? Mmm, pie. This cuddly canine just wants your love (also, pie). And that's no bull! Dog!
15 squishy inches of bull and dog! All new polyester fiber, ages 3 and up only!
Oh, Baby Fox, what a world awaits you! By the time you're old enough to have your own litter, you'll be hunting for small rodents and birds with a jetpack strapped to your back! As your pups' cute little fur-faces smile at you from the corner of your high-tech retinal display! And all of this will probably be taking place in a verdant forest… on Mars!
Wait, what? You'll be fully grown in less than a year? Well then, let's re-adjust our sights a bit! By the time you're grown up, at least a few of your favorite shows will release a new season! If you have a smartphone (which would be weird, because thumbs), there may be a few automatic software updates!
In any case, this narrow timeframe means that you need to get all that good baby stuff in while you can! Cuddle up before you're responsible for grownup stuff, like taxes! Or stalking prey! On Mars!
15 squishy inches of fleeting fox! All new polyester fiber, ages 3 and up only!
There are various plusses and minuses to humans having descended from a monkey-like ancestor! Giant brains! Funny shaped pelvises! A predilection for bananas! Sure, unlike our real grandparents, Monkeys don't have any hard candy for us, and they don't send us crisp $5 bills on our birthday! But does Grandma have a cool tail she can use to swing from tree to tree? I thought not!
So why not ditch the genealogy and live in the now? Embrace the Monkey of the moment! Like, literally embrace this soft, round monkey!
15 squishy inches of precious primate! All new polyester fiber, ages 3 and up only!